How to Buy Your Dream Bike Without Losing Your Mind (or Wallet)
From cafe appeal to pro-level performance, buying a bike means balancing looks, functionality and fit—do your research, test ride and avoid flashy traps for the perfect two-wheeled machine.
Buying a new bike can be a pain in the ass! Quite literally as there are so many factors to consider before making your big purchase. So before bending over and getting a full body cavity search OZ Customs style at your local dealership, and handing over a second mortgage and your first born, there are a few things to think about beforehand.
- Does it look good parked up at Café Racer at 8am on a Saturday morning?
- Can I ride this thing in Skinny Jeans and a low cut Zara V neck T shirt to pre race bike check in?
- Will it rate well on social media when I post it with a photo tag “locked and loaded” pre race day?
- Can I pass as a Pro Triathlete if it’s the same bike as a Pro Triathlete?
- Does the company make a custom colour to match my compression garments?
- Will the old bloke walking past it try and pick it up to check the weight of it at a café?
All these points are crucial factors when deciding on the purchase of your new 2 wheeled Divorce machine so you might as well make it worth it!
Most dealerships now will bend over backwards to get your business as soon as you enter their shiny new toy shop which works out well as you will most surely end up bending over in a forward position to accommodate this purchase. As a consumer you have to KNOW this and use it to your advantage so shop around and do your homework. The big thing dealerships have up their sleeve is the “IDOL” factor, this simply means that for example, customers will solely want a Specialized because Crowie rode a Specialized Shiv to win Kona, or they want a Scott Plasma as Sebastian Kienle rode one to victory last year. Bike shops will use this tactic to reel you in and use these sponsored athletes as great selling points which is fair enough as we watch what the top athletes are using and try to emulate them.
As hard as it is to block this part out, its crucial to have an open mind when buying a bike. As with running shoes they will not suit every athlete just because it looks good on TV or parked in transition or at a coffee shop. Most shops now will let you “test drive” a bike before purchase, this is a great idea and is forefronted by Specialized in their test the best program which travels around the country allowing users to ride all the new bikes to test them out.
This is costly obviously and not all bike companies can do this, but your shop should be able to accommodate you with a test ride prior to purchase. As long as you don’t turn up to your shop in a VB tight fitting T shirt, Dandenong Footy shorts and thongs and ask to take a $10,000 Shiv for a spin around the block!
The fit is a major part of getting a new bike, with the new shapes and monocoque frames around its quite easy to fall in love at first sight without thinking about the 1 percenters required to get you on the bike. You need to ask yourself how adjustable is this frame to my needs and what are the warranties available if things go south, with a lot of internal wiring and confusing headstem functions available now it could cause more problems down the track. For example if you are an athlete that travels a lot you need a bike that is easy to be built and broken down quickly.
Some bikes around look great but trying to get their head stem apart in a bike bag is like trying to bend a spoon with your mind Keanu Reeves Matrix style! And who needs that when you’re hungover and sore, trying to put a bike in a bike bag at 5am on a Monday morning to catch your 7am flight from Port Mac airport.
Buying a bike is actually a really good experience as there is so much eye candy out there and if you know what you’re doing and looking for you can get some amazing deals. So do your homework, research and speak to other cyclists (who aren’t sponsored) about what they think of their machines and you’ll be fine.
